Kids and their math ...

So after a bit of home testing, I am dismayed at the gaps in math both my boys have, primarily in word problems, fractions, and percentages.  The bad habits instilled by doing thousands of worksheets have also come home to roost. <sigh> Fortunately, while time to cover the gap-material will be a problem, both boys should pick up on the missing concepts pretty quickly. 

I've also discovered that on his meds, my son has about a 20 minute attention span, give or take 10 minutes.  Off his meds, ... he can't stay focused for five minutes without interrupting himself ... seriously.  Soon, I will start timing it and taking data - maybe, build some graphs and pie charts. ...

On the plus side, my son does much better when allowed (read made) to verbalize his thinking process.  It is a short step from there to model and guide HOW to write down his work.  Oy vey, Mrs. Lonce, my fourth grade math teacher, would spin to see what my kids have been allowed to get away with in showing their work.  Ms. Reilly (?) my 7th/8th grade math teacher, wouldn't bother to give them credit.

Captured my imagination ... and all of my attention

So much to cover and my brain is bouncing around something fierce.  Hmmm ...

First, the Adderall didn't work.  Not only didn't it work, I had more side effects than I was even really aware.  While, I've been logging most everything because I've been tracking my allergies, some of the side effects were there but not "worth" logging.  Here they go: 

• Common side effects: Upper Abdominal Pain (like the later stages of labor), Chronic Trouble Sleeping, Loss of Appetite, Feel Like Throwing Up, Nervous. Infrequent side effects: Feeling Restless, Hives, Rash, Trouble Breathing, Anxious, Dry Mouth, Drowsiness, Dizzy, Low Energy, Head Pain, Fast Heartbeat, Heart Throbbing or Pounding, Altered Interest in Having Sexual Intercourse. 
• Rare side effects: High Blood Pressure – not high but definitely higher, Feeling Faint, Chest Pain – not exactly, more like a tight chest, Disturbance in the Ability of the Eye to Focus – more like a delay, Feeling Unhappy or Unwell – if you felt like crap, you would too. 
• Not on the list unless I missed it: Throat tightness.

Second, I am captivated by the idea of starting my own advocacy business and translating that into a larger platform.  Can't really share more right now, but it occupies most of my waking and sleeping thoughts in one way or another.

I guess I wanted to talk about the second, but then decided not to ... for now.

Motivation

A good friend asked her Facebook crew today, "what motivates us."  It's a good question, worthy of considered thought.  What motivates me?

When I was young, I was motivated by the "applause" – the rousing, enthusiastic, "Job well done!" I craved it like some children crave sweets.  It was for the hope of it that I worked so hard to do so well in school.  To some degree, I still desire it.  I craft it in terms of demonstrating value or making a difference, but in truth, I want that value, that difference, to be acknowledged and recognized.  In many ways, it reflects a misplaced need to have my mommy love me.  She does in her own way, but there you have it.  Knowledge isn't the same as its realization.

I've been struggling with this more in my midlife.  Things never quite turn out the way you expected.  Divorce, career changes, children, ... the economy ... All throw you curve balls, ... sliders ... pitches off-speed.  You have to make adjustments.

Adjustments, you make adjustments.  ... There's nothing wrong with me that money can't cure. But, I don't want to be somebody's else's learning experience.  Some rich kid's way to spend his allowance. ... I want some magic in my real world.  Some modern voodoo to make it work.

"Johnny Tomorrow", The Waitresses

 

Toward the tail end of my first marriage, I went back to school in a vain attempt to capture my childhood motivational carrot.  In the years since, I've been motivated by circumstance.  First it was Recover; Pay the Bills & Keep Food on the Table. 

 

Then, or concurrently, I needed to help my son get the educational help he needed for his ADHD and LD.  That could be classified as motivated to FIGHT.  I often feel like I am mamma bear protecting her cubs, doing whatever is required in the process. It certainly has required more perseverance than I ever thought I had or could even conjure up – voodoo of a sort, I suppose.

If that weren't enough, I've been motivated to figure out what's going on with my health.  I am in the best shape I've ever been in over the course of my whole adult life, and yet, I feel lousy.  I may have it on the run, finally.  ADHD meds have been changed (if I can ever find someone to fill it and convince the insurance company to cover it – more perseverance required), and I have an appointment with the allergist next week.  Here, I guess I am motivated by FIGHT also.  I hate feeling bad and refuse to accept it as a given.  I WILL feel better.

Still and all, each of these has been exhausting.  They take from the tank rather than feed it, without the applause of a job well done at the end.  So, I've been looking for more.  What motivates me?  How do I maintain persistence? What fills me with passion and drives me to jump out of bed in the morning?  So, I've been wondering upon this same question my friend asked.

Education:  Now, that will cause me to hunt for my soapbox.  How do we bridge the gap between good instructional design and learning objectives to evidence based practices, like structured educational approaches that would benefit LD and non-LD students alike, without forcing a moronic, worksheet based curricula that walks through those objectives linearly.  I can't say it loudly enough:  MORONIC.  Our educational system is completely broken.  Nobody benefits, no one likes it, and everyone suffers.  I don't get it.

Healthcare:  Same tune different lyrics.  There is a complete gap between health, wellness, and medical treatment.  Ailments are viewed as pathology and as a symptom (you're lucky if you are viewed as a set of symptoms) to be treated with the latest and greatest drug.  There is no emphasis on well-being supported by diet and exercise.  Doctors aren't trained this way, and medical research isn't funded this way.  ABSURD.  Worse, from all my reading of late in my hunt for my own well-being, as I did my own differential diagnosis and from the conferences I've gone to where doctors have spoken themselves on the topic, the training doctors have on basic knowledge like recognizing and treating anaphylaxis is woefully lacking (this isn't the best article I've read on the subject but it is one I could find quickly:  Paramedics Often Fail to Give Epinephrine for Anaphylaxis). Something needs to change, although, the market may not allow it to.  Who wants to give up their favorite foods or TV show?

I guess I am motivated to make a difference, but I have to see results and have someone acknowledge their worth.  I am working to have that motivation be a little more internalized, both for myself and as part of the help I am giving to my son.

Long answer to a short question.  Not sure, yet, if I am satisfied by the answer.